9 things I learned from a 9 day retreat

1. That it is possible to sleep sitting. I was guilty of noticing this the first couple of days, waking up by slightly nodding my head forwards before tipping over. Anyway, even though I did fall asleep at times, that moment of waking up slightly in shock helps you WAKE UP on a deeper level as well. When you close your eyes for meditation nobody really knows how clear or awake your attention is, unless you are snoring of course... It is about coming back to the meditation object over and over again. Drift of, come back. Lost in thought, realize it, come back. Let's not sleep walk through our lives!


2. That there came a day when I wished I had brought winter clothes to Asia. The temple we stayed at was in Cameron Highlands, 1400 meters up in the mountains in Malaysia and apparently that can get pretty damn cold. Malaysians are however terrified of cold weather, as many of them stated themselves, and they had packed huge bags with a lot of clothes to prepare themselves. Luckily for me they were really generous with sharing their scarves and extra pairs of socks...

3. What a relief it would be to be cell phone-less! I did not know it was going to be such a relief to turn of the phone, out of sight, out of mind. There even came a point when I was searching through my bag and accidentally grabbed my phone and caught myself thinking "what is this", which is ironical, because usually I am searching around in my bag thinking "where is it? where is it?" I will definiatly decrease my phone usage after this experience, not carrying it around with me all the time. Why do we feel that we need to be so acceccable all the time? ...Whats the rush?


4. That Malaysians don't do nobel silence very well... The retreat was supposed to be under nobel silence and however much I tried to stay in silence every day, Malaysians are apparently really chatty people. So sometimes I was silent untill lunch, other days until later that evening because people where really curious over how a finn ended up there pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I think the additional challenge of being in silent will have to be on my next retreat, depending on where it is, according to Ajahn Achallo, maintaining the silence isnt happening at a Thai retreat either...

5. How much time there is in one day. Seriously, there is time to meditate in your daily life, maybe not 8 hours a day as we did during the retreat, but there is time. How we spend our time and what we feed our minds with has a huge impact on the quality of our lives. It dosent take time to meditate, as it slows things down it will actually give you more time, hows that for an investment?

"If you have time to breathe, you have time to meditate" 

- Ahjan Chah

6. Mindfulness of pain. Yes, even yoga teachers experience pain in the body from sitting, at least I did! The second day I actually didnt know if I would be able to make it through the retreat. However the teacher, Ajahn Achalo was excellent on giving advice and guidance thought physical pain. That everything is exactly as it should be, otherwise it wouldnt be this way. Pain, both in the body and the mind, is actually one of our greatest teachers and it is not stagnant. It is just an experience that will change. With the help of the breath and by surrounding the area of pain with cooling awareness you can separate yourself from identifying with it, Ajahan Achalo said, that which sees the pain, is not pain itself.

Ajahn Achallo and Ajahn Pavaro

7. That it is possible to over use tiger balm. For the back pain I was experiencing from sitting I needed a daily dose of downward facing dogs and tiger balm. As I noticed that "using a little bit of tiger balm helps a little bit so a lot of it will probably help a lot..." is how I was slapped in the face by the lesson of moderation during one morning meditation sitting. Mindfully I reminded myself to stay with the breath and the sensations even though they where fiery, to not react. Freedom comes from surrendering to the struggle, whether it may be physical and emotional.


8.  Valuable lessons on impermanence. However depressing contemplating endings, suffering and even death itself might seem, once honestly taking a look at it, it is befreing. All is changing all the time and the most valuable teacher for the constant change of life is right in the center of our bodies, in the center of our minds; our breath. To watch the breath as we inhale and as we exhale, without grasping, attaching or clinging to it we can practice applying those qualities to out life as well. All is constantly changing and that is the nature of life which we are apart of.  Similarly as the breathe comes and goes, so do painful sensations in the body, emotional states and thoughts. Rising and falling, arising and descending. The body is just a body and will constantly keep changing as it is made up from the elements, nothing to cling to. The mind is just the mind and by bringing out the "me", "mine" and "I" suffering ceases to exist.

9. That mindfulness leads to knowledge. I am truly grateful for having the opportunity for taking part of Ajahn Achallos teachings and guidance on cultivating mindfulness and on seeing things as they are. I know I don't want to sleep walk through life as day becomes night and autumn becomes spring, year after year, on autopilot. I know I don't want to feel like a victim to circumstances and identify with every struggle. I know I don't want to spend my life by running towards pleasure, runnning away from pain and mostly feeling that something is lacking. So after these 9 days I realized I want to commit to a deeper meditation practice. When the alarm goes of, I will not hit the snooze button. It is time to wake up. It is a choice you have to make over and over again and the choice is yours.

"Everybody knows they're going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently" Morrie said.

"So we kid ourselves about death" I (Mitch) said. 

"Yes, but there's a better approach. To know you're going to die, and to be prepared for it at any time. That's better. That way you can actually be more involved in your life while you're living" 

"How can you ever be prepared to die?"

"Do what the Buddhists do. Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, 

Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to? Am I being the person I want to be?

The truth is, Mitch, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live."

- Tuesdays with Morrie